With 25 percent of women expected to experience domestic violence during their lifetime, the chances of knowing someone directly affected by it is nearly inevitable. Because it’s so common, ceremonies like the SABRA Sanctuary candlelight vigil held Thursday are vital to the community. Those gatherings show the million of victims who are physically assaulted each year that we care.

More importantly, it starts much-needed conversations about domestic abuse that have the potential to save lives.

In these discussions, the very basis of what domestic violence is needs to be established.

According to Safe Horizon, domestic violence is defined as “a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation.”

It can include physical, emotional, psychology, economic, and/or sexual abuse.

For instance, stalking can be a form of spousal abuse. Repeatedly conducting behaviors that can be best be described as harassing or threatening your partner carries a different kind of pain for its victims.

Knowing a clear definition of domestic abuse can lead people in those situations to better understand that their situation is serious, no matter how small it may seem to them.

It can direct victims to report domestic violence issues, which doesn’t always happen.

According to Safe Horizon, most battering incidents are never reported. Shame is among the many factors that drive victims to not to report relationship abuse.

Thursday’s vigil was a prime example of a way for us to show that there’s no reason to be shameful about being a victim.

A loving and understanding person approaches the situation with sensitivity.

He or she sees no reason for you to be embarrassed and only wants to help.

Matter of fact, discussions about the issue can help eliminate the common misconception that can sometimes be the factor that shames the victim.

Asking the victim to “just leave” turns the attention away from the root of the problem, which is the abuser.

The talking points tied to the spousal abuse issue are virtually endless.

I can only hope that the conversation about the matter did not come and go with the vigil.

It should motivate us to carry on conversations about this topic on more regular basis.

There are too many people out there suffering for us to keep the topic “under the rug.”

It may not always be a comfortable topic to discuss, but it’s well worth our time.