By ANNE STRAND | Guest Columnist

On Sesame Street there was a song called “Put Down the Ducky.” It goes something like this, “You got to put down the ducky if you ever want to learn to play the trombone.” It seems that we need to put down the things we are clutching — whatever those may be — in order to be able to pick up our particular instrument and play our own music. We need to let go to have! But we have a very hard time letting go of what we really don’t need anymore. By holding on tightly — clinging to the past and fearing the future — we fail to use the opportunities we have in the present. This is true for individuals, for families, for cities and for nations!

After all we never know when or if another ducky will come along.  We fear there is a scarcity of duckies or that our source for duckies will dry up. We think that someone will get our duckies if we put them down and that they will win and we will lose — because that’s the way our world works. And, when we think like that, we believe that we must stay in control at all cost.  We do not trust that — if we do our part — what we need will come to us without our constant manipulation. Trapped in this reality, we have no concept of a win/win world.

Often, we damage our lives and destroy our common futures by refusing to let go of these destructive patterns and stale behaviors.  When we try to control the flowering — as well as the planting, the feeding and the weeding — we get into big trouble.

Knowing our desire is one thing, but trying to control how we receive it is another.  A tightly closed fist is not open to receive!

To receive we need to learn to relax our grip by showing up, paying attention, doing our part the best that we can and then letting go of the outcome.

Holding tightly to the expectation of how things should be kills the experience of how things can be.  Our grasping can spoil what is naturally evolving. When we cling to the need for one preconceived outcome, we limit our chances, wind up being disappointed and fail to notice that transformation is at hand.

We stay trapped into thinking that what is happening right now is not good enough, not our way or in tune with our timing.

With our eyes, hearts, minds, and hands so tightly closed, we refuse to be surprised by a move toward the good.

Now is the time for us to show up, pay attention and do our part to clean up our thinking and our streets.

Believing that we can make a difference today — for ourselves, our families, our friends and our fellow citizens — could bring a much welcomed surprise for us tomorrow.  Whether it is the trombone we begin to play or the triangle, let’s put down the toys of immaturity and pick up the tools of wisdom.

Let’s find our place and part to play, join together to make some music, and strike up the band.

Dr.  Anne Strand is a chaplain in the Episcopal church, a counselor and retired therapist.