A promise to cease annoyances

Published 7:37 pm Thursday, December 29, 2011

It’s that time of year again. It’s time for everyone to make a vow to improve as a person and make 2012 a better year than 2011.

Most people vow to lose weight, get in shape or do more to help their fellow man. I’m taking a different approach once again. Like last year, this year I plan to make a list of things I won’t do instead.

During 2011, this worked out pretty well for me. To be honest, it is a much easier approach.

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It’s much easier to not do things that are already a problem.

So here is vow No. 1. I promise not to put the whoopee cushion in Michelle Coleman’s chair anymore. On that same note, I promise not to put the whoopee cushion in any area that Michelle might step on it. I realize now that this is juvenile and never works anyway.

Secondly, I promise not to make fun of Tennessee and Auburn fans when their team loses.

I understand this is a poor representation of the Crimson Tide fan base and behavior unbecoming of a super fan. So, on Jan. 1 the taunting will end. Besides, I need to concentrate all of my efforts on LSU anyway.

My third vow is to stop walking past the beagle I see during some of my morning walks and pet him on the head.

As a former beagle owner, I know these dogs need a good pat on the head or belly scratch once in a while. Most mornings I just feel like I’m too darn busy.

That’s all going to change. I don’t know your name Mr. Beagle, but I’ll be saying hello a lot more in 2012. I might even have a treat or two.

My final resolution is to stop harassing my nephew via Facebook. I’m put a dent in any hopes he has of being cool throughout his high school career. It’s amazing how much damage you can do with a few stories and photos from childhood. Well buddy, it’s all going to end. No more internet bullying for Uncle Rick.

There you have it peeps. By Jan. 1, 2012 I will be a changed man.

Things are going to be different. Michelle will be able to do her work in peace, the beagle will have my undivided attention and my nephew could possibly pull off being cool.

You’re welcome everyone.