I find it absurd that so many people suggest Frank Thomas has to do more to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Apparently, hitting 500 home runs isn’t a big deal anymore.

Whaaaat? To even think that is heinous – it’s like stealing from your neighbor. Yes, I know his career came right smack in the middle of the “Great Steroid Scare.”

But first of all, let’s start with the prestige of this accomplishment. Of the several thousands of players that have ever worn a major league uniform, Thomas’ inclusion makes 21 that have hit 500 career homers.

There’s also the longevity. You have to be healthy and productive a long time. All but two of the members of the 500-home run club – retired Mark McGwire and currently active Ken Griffey Jr. – have played 100 or more games in at least 15 seasons.

Plus the man can flat stroke. He’s one of six players with 500+ homers and a .300+ career batting average.

Frank Thomas will be in the Hall on the first ballot. It will happen.

But then I got to thinking …

What are some things that are more unlikely to happen?

We’ll explore all things implausible when we go down “The List.”

10. Paris Hilton gets a real job – Ha … Hahahahahaha!

And might I add – ha!

9. Scottie Pippen makes a comeback – To what? Basketball? No comment.

8. Iron Bowl moved – In an effort to make more money and gain international fans, the 2009 game will be played in – Australia. Can’t forget about the Tide and Tiger faithful down under.

7. Michelle Wie steps up – Right about now, the odds of her carving out a meaningful career are about as good as me joining the cast of a soap opera.

6. Jason Giambi says something useful – Like, “I think this whole steroid probe would go a lot smoother if it were over.”

5. George W. Bush takes blame and expresses regret – Over the numerous expensive pieces of china he broke during his term in the White House.

4. Paris Hilton gets a real job – Hahahaha. Boy, that never gets old.

3. Super Bowl moved – In an effort to make more money and gain international fans, the 2009 game will be played in – Kazakhstan. Let’s get Borat’s take: “Niiiiiiiice.”

2. Pro soccer taken seriously as a U.S. sport – Only if David Beckham is forced to remove a piece of clothing every time he misses a shot.

1. Paris Hilton gets …. Okay, okay, I’ll shut up now.

George L. Jones is sports editor of The Selma Times-Journal. He can be reached at (334) 410-1744 or .